


You'd Be Lost Without Me

by MrsMink



Category: DCU (Animated), DCU (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Dark Character, Forbidden Love, Internal Monologue, Longing, M/M, Other, Short One Shot, supressed feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-03-26 08:34:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3844234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrsMink/pseuds/MrsMink
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I call this an exploration of longing.<br/>The Joker is in Arkham.<br/>Bruce Wayne in his home.<br/>Not exactly a story, but monologues of two troubled souls.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You'd Be Lost Without Me

**Author's Note:**

> So this is not exactly about a relationship of Batman and the Joker but about that weird attraction they feel for the other. I wrote this out of an impulse to get all the feels out of my system, so it's probably no good, but maybe someone takes a liking to it ;)  
> This story is heavily inspired by the song "Jokers's Song" by Miracle of Sound and my own feels that were crashing down on me like a wave ^^

Arkham. Why was he always in Arkham? Hohoho oooh yeeees….! Batsy’s fault. As usual. The big black bat was always on his heels once he got out of this so called Asylum. Annoying him with his presence and crossing his plans. Why was he doing that? Didn’t he like fun? Bats is way too grumpy, he could use a bit of humor for sure hehehe…

Arkham Asylum was not that bad, to be honest. It was rather amusing. The garbage of society, gathered in one place. The crazy, stupid, violent, mentally deranged…..hahaha…HAHAHAHA….*sigh*

It was rather comforting once you thought about it. Nobody here expected you to be normal. To fit in. You could be yourself. Wasn’t that what the whole world always preached? “Be yourself, no matter what others say!” But once you dared to actually do that, they declared you mad or out of your mind and you ended up in institutions like this…ironic…hehehe

They thought it was a punishment. But actually, it was an opportunity for those who knew how to use it. An opportunity to think of new plans, to make connections, to meditate about your whole being and the sense of your doing…your call!

He just wanted to show the world some true fun! Was that so bad? The people apparently thought it despicable…HUMORLESS BUNCH OF….!....Calm down Joker…calm down…

He had checked all boxes on his list. He was done here for this time. He had to go. He had to. Had to GO!!!

Hahahaha…if he stayed here any longer, he would actually end up mad…pffffff, what a sight that would be! Maybe he would dye his hair pink, so crazy would he be! Hysterical!

Poison Ivy always seemed so calm when she was here. Maybe it was the plant she always carried with her. Mmhhh….maybe he should try asking the guards for a plant. A pretty one of course. That could help. Mental note: Ask guard for plant.

 

\------

 

The night had been long and another criminal was delivered to Blackgate Prison. But he had not accomplished that without a price. These had not been petty thieves, but welltrained combatants. He would get a lot of new bruises and maybe he even broke a rib or two. Not even the Batsuit could have prevented that. He sighed. There was no end to it, wasn’t there? No matter how many crimes he fought, no matter how many criminals he found and got rid of, there were always new ones, aspiring to do even better than their predecessors.

He thought about the one thing that had haunted him for so long. Was it his fault? Was he maybe like a magnet for those with wicked minds and would Gotham be a better place if he had not aspired to be a hero of some sort? He cringed at the thought. What was it in the human nature that let these things happen?

Darwinism said that only the strong will prevail. But what about the good people in the world? The ones who sought for peace. Where they weak? And what about the Joker, Bane, the Mad Hatter, Scarecow…? They were crazy. Just crazy. But if not for him, they probably would have overcome anyone else and would rule this city. Did that mean they were strong? Did that mean they were the ones that were meant to survive in this world and reproduce? That couldn’t be right. It just couldn’t.

It was madness!

He tried to stop his train of thoughts and slipped out of his bathrobe he still wore after a warm shower. He just needed to go to bed, close his eyes and rest. Finally rest.

 

\------

 

He never had been in Arkham for so long. Usually he got bored and then walked out. Wasn’t difficult. But this time, somehow it wasn’t that easy as before. Lack of opportunity, lack of tools, lack of allies. Once he got out he should gather some money. That always worked. People were sooooooo greedy. Sooo shallow. And when a job was done and they wanted their payment you could get rid of them…chrrrahhaahahahaHAHA that part was always funny! The look on their faces because they didn’t expect that….priceless, really! That’s what good pranks are all about. Exceeding your audience’s expectations.

Bats never got that. Or well, he maybe did, but was too busy being grumpy to notice or admit it. Grumpy grumpy grumpy. Or brooding. Only once he had seen his friend laugh. When he had been threatened with a bomb. He, the Joker. Hmpf…maybe he should do a show like this someday. Watching Batsy smile was nice. Just happened so rarely. A shame, really.

Ahhh, he drifted off again… okay…out of Arkham..hmm…how to get out of Arkham this time…well, if he couldn’t think of it, he could always just ask, right?

Though unusual for him, he had grown restless somehow over the last few weeks. He had seen all potential for amusement and fun. But something was lacking. Something…something big…and exciting…and blackSTOP IT!!!

The big thing had brought him here. Why had he brought him here? Hadn’t they had a lot of fun??? Running in circles around each other, tension growing, game after game. AAAAAAHHHHHH that man was so frustrating!

When he had caught him the last time, like everytime he caught him, there would have been time to talk, just a bit of smalltalk perhaps. “Hey. How have you been? That sure was fun, let’s do that again. See you later.”

But no, he just strutted back to his Batmobile and vanished. Why did he always do that? Was he worth NOTHING? And where was he going? To that little Robin brat? That menace he still couldn’t get rid of? The kid probably thought he knew everything about the Batman. Sure was proud of himself.

But NO! Nonononono! HE was the one who knew everything! HE was the ONLY one who could understand his Batsy! Correcting: THE Batsy, not YOURS…no…not yours…why not yours? He should be yours!!! AARGGHHHH

 

\------

 

He couldn’t sleep. For how long he had been lying in bed now, he didn’t know exactly. He just knew that his brain was stopping him from getting a decent and well deserved rest.

The last months had been business as usual. ‘Normal’ criminals and the occasional madman to spice things up. Not that he wanted things to spice up. His goal was to defeat crime after all.

But something was not right recently. He was…unsatisfied. Unsatisfied with every fight he fought and every victory he accomplished. It was not as before. But what was lacking? He didn’t know.

Normally Robin was able to cheer him up, but even that was not working quite as good as it used to do.

His thoughts moved to the last of his really ‘important’ catches. It was the Joker. Again. How often had he caught him now? He had lost count. But still that man always managed to escape somehow. He was creative and thought in unconventional ways. Maybe that was his secret. He was one of the few people who managed to still surprise him after all this time…

Bruce Wayne jumped out of his bed. Why couldn’t he just sleep? Why did he have to think about HIM? It was not fair.

He should try thinking about something pleasant. Robin, Alfred…maybe Catwoman? The relationship between Batman and Catwoman was a strange one. He knew that she was Selina Kyle, but she knew nothing about Bruce Wayne. Still, there was mutual attraction. Was she some kind of girlfriend to him? Since he could hardly have one in his ‘real’ life.

The Joker had a girlfriend. Well, no not really. Harley Quinn declared herself his girlfriend and the Joker took her along, but that was no real relationship. He not even treated her kindly. You could not be sure if the Joker even LIKED Harley Quinn.

Harleen Quinzel, her real identity, a psychologist in Arkham Asylum who fell in love with the Joker. It was pathetic. She of all people should know better. But instead, she grew obsessed with that…freak. And that terrible woman tried to shove it into everyone’s face that she was in love with ‘Mr. J’ and that he loved her back and that she was the only one who could understand him.

Ha!

She knew nothing. Nothing of that sick mind that he had studied so intensely over the years. If anyone knew something about the Joker then it was HIM. If the Joker even remotely liked anyone it should be-!

No. That was not right.

 

\------

 

Batman BatmanBatmanBATMAN! Why was it that all he could ever think about was BATMAN? Little Bats was in his sleep, in his daydreams, EVERYWHERE!

Big, black, muscular, moody face with cute little bat ears…hihihihihi

He was not here. Batman was somewhere, but not where he should be…He should be here! Right here, chasing after him, tying him up or something like that, he didn’t care what it was! What could he do to make him come here? Request him? Would he…then come to visit? That may be possible. Yes! Oooor……he could just go and search Batsy himself. But he didn’t want to be found. WHY? Why was he always so mean to him? He just wanted to have fun, fun with him. Together, they would be the bestest of the bestest! BESTEST, you hear me?! HAHAHAHA Such a nice prospect…

*sigh*

Blood. His hand was bleeding…why….his nails had dug into his palm too long…too hard…*lick*

Would HE taste like that? Like blood….ppffffff now he was thinking dirty hohoho

Uurghhhh…..he NEEDED to see him! What was that?

Boring…soo boooring, everything, everyone, nobody understood nothing, only HIM. He understood! Knew what he was thinking, knew why he had to do all that! Just come here, come here, come here, PLEEaaaaaasEEEE.

Need it want it have to have it. What? Not important! Just soon. The Joker gripped his green hair with his bloody hand. Groaning and pressing his heads to the cold stone wall of his cell. His body cramping.

 

ENOUGH!

 

\------

 

HOW could he even THINK that??? That the Joker liked him? That was craziness.

No.

He hadn’t thought that the Joker liked him. He thought that the Joker SHOULD like him.

That was even worse.

But he knew him. Better than anyone. Better than Harley or any psychologist in Arkham. And Joker…he knew Batman. He hated to admit it, but everything the Joker had said so far had been RIGHT.

And Joker was what was lacking.

Excitement. Surprise. Fun, if you want to call it that.

NONONONONO GO AWAY

Bruce Wayne was clutching his forehead and with a frustrated growl he forced himself to go back to bed. Lying down should calm him. And free him from this thoughts that were so utterly WRONG.

Nobody could evoke such a feeling in him. And he wouldn’t allow the Joker either.

He was grasping the sheets he was lying on, his muscles tensing. Trying to suppress it. The urge. The longing. The need. Biting on his lip.  Shivering. The Joker had been in Arkham for quite a long time now. Longer than ever actually. He was good at escaping. Why was he still there? Shouldn’t he be gone by now and searching…

…for him? Like he always did. Why wasn’t he here? Why wasn’t he looking for him? Like he ALWAYS did. Was something wrong with him? Should he visit Arkham and take a look for himself? No…he couldn’t…wasn’t allowed to…wrong…

The Joker should be out there, he should, he really really should! Please COME!!! You HAVE to!!!

 

A tear was rolling down on his face. Shimmering. Sad. And lonely.

\------

 

NEWSFLASH! Just moments ago the Joker has apparently fled the Arkham Asylum once again! People are advised to go to their homes early and not to walk at night alone! The Joker is very dangerous!

Police Commissioner Gordon told us that the search has already started and they would give it their all to bring that criminal behind bars again!

Will the infamous Batman will hurry to Gotham’s rescue this time?

 

\------

 

He needed to see him.

To see him.

Needed to see.

Needed him.

He needed him.

**Author's Note:**

> This is actually the first time I post one of my works online so I have never had anyone review my stuff. That said, honest criticism is highly welcome so that I can improve and please bear with me :)
> 
> Btw, my native language is NOT english, so for any mistakes in that department: sorry, feel free to correct!


End file.
